I Think I Have Cotard’s Syndrome

Because if you were dead, would anybody even tell you?


Quiz Yourself:
-Do you sometimes feel pangs of anxiety? Yes
-Do you suffer from waves of guilt or depression? You bet
-Do you find yourself feeling displaced from reality or from your body? Now that you mention it…
-Do you sometimes question your own existence? All the time
-Are you dead? I just very well might be

It is the belief that you are dead, or that you don’t exist, or that your body has dissipated into the universe and is no longer sentient. Or, possibly, that you never existed in the first place. If you’re thinking it doesn’t make sense that a person could believe anything if they weren’t around to believe it, you’re absolutely correct. It doesn’t make sense. But if you don’t exist, what do you know? You’re hardly a reliable source

If you’re suffering from Cotard’s Syndrome, you might feel a complete disconnect between yourself and the world around you. The dining room table beneath your fingers may seem distant, and although you can feel it, you know, deep down that you do not occupy space as it does. Nothing anyone says can shake your fervent belief that you are no more, or perhaps never were.

Many victims of this disease also experience delusions of immortality – reason being if you are dead and still eating cheese and watching The Price is Right, then in some sense you must have traversed, or beaten, death. And if the most exciting thing you can come up with to do after achieving immortality is sit around watching game shows, then the accompanying depression makes a lot of sense.

Electroconvulsive therapy has been shown to work pretty well in getting rid of this. If that’s a little too intense for you, cognitive behavioral therapy, antidepressants, and/or anti-psychotic medication might have some positive effects, but only in rare cases

OH. MAH. GAWD.

I have Cotard’s Syndrome

Or maybe I’m just really bored and restless. Not to mention kinda lonely on this Saturday night/Sunday morning

Nope. Definitely Cotard’s Syndrome

**Disease break-down and general humor care of Dennis Diclaudio’s The Paranoid\’s Pocket Guide to Mental Disorders You Can Just Feel Coming On

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