I remember as a child desperately wanting to watch America’s Funniest Home Videos when it came on, but it conflicted with the evening’s weather report on the local news channel.
And if there was one thing my parents could not miss, it was the weather report.
I didn’t get it as a child and I still don’t.
I mean, yes, I do understand the importance of being ready for hazardous driving conditions in the winter. And, in the event of some kind of outing, I understand obsessing about the rain that threatens to derail the entire family reunion’s three-legged sprint race. On a very base level, I get it.
I guess you would have to know my family to really get how confusing this is for me, though. We so very rarely went anywhere where the weather would make or break the event. We rarely went anywhere at all. We’ve never been an outside family. Day-long beach trips were non-existant, parks weren’t frequented, yard work was rarely done. Yet, the weather had to be watched every night or…I don’t know. Think of something terribly tragic and pretend that that happened to me as a child every time they missed the weather report
~I’ll give you time to think of a tragedy~
Yeah. I know, right? No wonder I’m so messed up
I told you that to tell you this:
I was walking into work this morning and literally everyone was carrying an umbrella. Looking up into the sky, I noticed that it was a tad bit cloudy, but nothing too ominous. Turns out, get out of work around 4:45 and, it’s raining. Do all these people obsessively watch the weather, too? Or are they just prepared for whatever weather turns up and I simply don’t notice their constant umbrella companions?
When will I start to become concerned about adult things? Weather, dinner, the dryness of the newspaper, how thick a toenail has to be before some kind of specialist should be called? We went out to Olive Garden for a work lunch and I had barely anything to contribute to the conversations. First and foremost, I don’t have children or grandchildren or nieces or even a little baby sibling, so there goes any chance of saying anything there. But that’s expected with a bunch of middle-aged women.
It’s the other stuff. It’s their yearly plans-of-action during Black Friday where they do nine straight hours of shopping. It’s the divorces of one person or another, every time acting as if this one is as novel an idea as women wearing pants in the 1930s. Checking the weather, checking the obituaries, worrying over a theme for the new half bath. When will I have more to contribute than, “Hey, speaking of Wal-Mart – did you know that they sell caskets in their online store?”
Is there a certain point that you come to when – BAM – all of a sudden you start concerning yourself with all of this? Is it a doom faced by engaged couples?
Or do you already worry about this stuff, guys?
Am I alone in my lack of want or need to watch the weather report in the evening?
That’s a scary thought