Because we’re worth it
Because we’re worth it
Tears. I look forward to Doctor Who all week and this is what happens. Nothing but tears
I was prepared. I was. I knew it was coming. But not this soon. Out of nowhere, I tell you! Nowhere!
AND NOW you tell me that you’re holding off Season 7 until 2013
Well, then. I better start campaigning now. Maybe you’ll hear my feeble voice
~~~SALLY SPARROW FOR COMPANION 2013~~~
Now you have NO EXCUSE not to watch Doctor Who. It’s all right there on the frickin’ map! Don’t give me this bullshit about needing to watch the first eight Doctors or it’ll mean nothing. That’s like saying you have to start at Brixton to even consider riding the Victoria line. And then what are you doing? Driving all the way from Warren Street to Brixton just so you can get on the train in order to travel to Kings Cross, what would have originally been two stops away from your primary location. And now you’re going to have to sit on the damn tube, regardless of how pretty the scenery might be (but I doubt it with the Victoria line being a deep-level line), and wait. And you might be late for work. Your wife might have one of those conniption fits where all the skin melts off of her face. And your kids might get onion cancer. Then you’ll feel guilty, won’t you? But it’ll be too late
All could have been remedied if you had just gotten on the damn train where you stood
Get on the damn train
Watch Doctor Who and avoid the spread of onion cancer
So sad, Doctor.
***I am a mighty advocate of playing solitaire (patience) games with real decks. Considering that I spend a great majority of my time on a computer, whether that be at work or at home, taking out a deck of cards to play solitaire instead of doing so online is probably the best thing I do all day long (don’t judge – I know it sounds pathetic)
With this blog being about neurosis and paranoid tendencies, you have to believe that I’ve found some way to curb the anxiety. Playing with a real deck on a smooth, dark cherry wood table is the best way to do that. I really recommend it
That being said, I want to share with you some of my favorite patiences games. I’m going to try to teach you some that you might never have seen before. If you have, well, congratu-fucking-lations to you. We share the same obsession
(alternative names: Treasure Trove)
How many decks? One
How long will it take? About 10 minutes
Likelihood of Success? 1 out of 10 times
What is it like? Osmosis is different than other solitaire games as, 1) the foundation are built up in no particular numerical order and 2) there is very little strategy required. Sounds easy, yeah? Well, there’s a reason you only have a 1 in 10 chance of winning
How you play: After shuffling the hell out of your deck, you are going to deal out 16 cards face-down into 4 piles. Square up the piles, turn them over and place them in a vertical column to the left. Those piles are your reserve
The next card in the stock (the remainder of the cards you are holding in your hand) is dealt to the right of the top reserve. That card is the beginning of one of your four foundations and will dictate the rank of your other three. Example: you deal ♥10 to the right of the top reserve. That means the rest of your foundations will be 10s of ♠,♣, and ♦.
The main aim is to build on the foundations by suit in no particular numercial order. The catch is that a card cannot be played to its foundation until the card of the same rank (number) has been built to the foundation row above it
The top cards of the reserves are available for play. When one of the reserve piles is used up, it is left empty/not replaced by a card from the stock. The stock is turned over in batches of three and played to a waste pile. The top card of the waste pile is available for play. When the stock has been exhausted, the waste pile is picked up, turned over without being shuffled and dealt in batches of three once more. There are unlimited redeals, but once the redealt stock has been exhausted without a card being played to the foundations, the game is lost
This is about halfway through my game, after I uncovered all of my foundation cards (the 10s). As you can see, there are many tempting cards that are available for play, but the top foundation sets the standard. In the event that I uncover a ♦8, I could then use the ♠8 that is sitting on the waste pile. Or if I come across a ♥4, I could use the ♦4 that is sitting on the top reserve pile. Remember: You cannot build on the foundation unless the foundation sequence above it includes that rank of card
ETA: I won my game. That is all
***You know, I read website after website and book after book about solitaire games and every time I think, “This is so confusing. I could completely explain this better.”
And I have come to the conclusion, that no, I cannot explain it better. I’m just as bad as they are, whoever the hell “they” actually refers to.
AND IF YOU HATE SOLITAIRE WITH A PASSION…
Here is a picture of the eleventh Doctor with a beach ball and K-9 that I saw on my adventures at Interlochen:
See? Wasn’t a total waste, right?